Category Archives: Teen Talk

Teen’s New Hog

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We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to see is real and unedited. Please do not try this at home…Unless you can fold yourself up like a frog.

One day, Teen cleaned out his chop shop…

Teen:  “Mom, I traded that Zebra dirt bike I could never get to run for one that does!”

Mom:  “Really?  (I was perfectly content with the non-running model) Does the new one go very fast?”

Teen:  “Oh, not that fast”

Mom: “hmm”

Teen:  “Wanna see?”

For more Teen Talk – go here!

Teen Talk: Episode #16

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Ready for a snack?

Ready for a snack?

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. Unless you are Euell Gibbons.

One day, Teen confronted the Food Nazi (aka Mom).

Mom: “Did I tell you I am on the food committee for the post prom party?”

Teen:  “Seriously?”

Mom: “What?  I can make good snacks.”

Teen: “Sure”

Mom: “I can! I like sweets just as much as the next guy…”

Teen: “Whoa, Whoa, Whoa…let me stop you right there before you say something we’ll both be sorry for later.”

The End

For more Teen Views: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #15

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Teen

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. Unless you are fond of servitude.

One day, Teen decided to establish his place in the Familial Hierarchy.

Mom:  “Teen, are you working this weekend?”

Teen: “Yes, all day Saturday. Do you know if my work clothes have gone through the laundry yet?”

Mom:  “I’m not sure, we should check when we get home tonight.”

Teen:  “Ok”

Mom:  “Send me a text message as a reminder.  Otherwise, I am afraid, by the time we get home later, we will forget to check.”

…ding…

Text from Teen:  Dear slave,

                               Make sure to wash and iron my good clothes for my upcoming business affairs.

                               Sincerely,

                               The Overlord

The End

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #14

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When Mom says “Go play outside!”…

Teen plays outside

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of Teen Talk. I assure you, everything you are about to hear see is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. Unless  you don’t mind turning your living room into outdoor furniture.

The end.

For more Teen Talk: Go Here

Teen Talk: Episode #13

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Comic by K

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. Unless you enjoy talking about boobs .

One day, Teen offered his critique of nude art.

SCENE:  Family of 4 (Mom, Dad, 2 teenage boys) check into a hotel in a foreign country, (like for example Costa Rica perhaps?). Upon entering their hotel room they find themselves standing in front of the only wall decor in the room…. a 5′ x 5′ painting of  a topless woman on the beach.

Mom: “I don’t at all object to nudity in artwork, but that painting is just plain disturbing!”

Teen: “Oddly enough, it doesn’t disturb me.”

Mom: “Well, now we have established you’re a  healthy 15 year old.”

Teen: “But, it is kind of like the Mona Lisa.”

Mom: “What? How do you mean?!”

Teen:  “Well, you know how wherever you go in the room, Mona Lisa’s eyes follow you?”

Mom: “Yeah….?”

(Teen continues to pace back and forth in front of the painting)

Teen: “Wherever you go in the room, her boobs follow you.”

The End

Epilogue

She looked cold, so I gave her a suit.

She looked cold, so I gave her a suit…

The End.

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Personal favorite: Teen Talk: Episode #3:  Teen’s recycling techniques.

 

 

Teen Talk: Episode #12

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Comic by K

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at homeUnless you are comfortable talking to yourself.

One day Teen turned into a brick wall got an iPhone.

Mom: “Looks like it is going to be warmer today!”

Teen:

Mom: “After school tomorrow, I will pick you up and then we will run by the store. If you need anything that would be a good time to get it.”

Teen: 

Mom:  “So, this weekend you have a game on Saturday and then we can go to the movies. Let’s see the new Captain America movie!”

Teen:

Mom:  “That story you told me last night was so funny, I am still laughing about it today!”

Teen: 

Mom:  “Next week, I am going out of town for a few days, so you and your brother will be on your own with Dad. ”

Teen:

Mom: “I am really glad we had this chance to talk!”

Teen:

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #11

Teen Talk: Episode #10

Teen Talk: Episode #9

Teen Talk: Episode #8

Teen Talk: Episode #7

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

*Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

 

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #11

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Comic by K

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at homeUnless you don’t mind freezing (or sweating) your da-dunt-da-dunts  off.

One day, Teen took a Home Energy Conservation Test at school.

Teen:  “Mom, we scored really bad on the Home Energy Conservation Test I took at school.”

Mom:  “Really? How bad?”

Teen:  “Well, lets just put it this way – it is just another one of those things I’ll be working out in therapy someday.”

Mom:  “What do you mean?”

Teen:  “You know, something like this…”

Therapist:

“So, Teen, tell me about your childhood and home life .”

Therapy Teen:

“Well, I remember how all the kids at school used to laugh and make fun of me because we turned off appliances in our house instead of unplugging them from the wall.”

Therapist:

“I see, go on…”

Therapy Teen:

“I was cut from the baseball team.  They never told me me why, but I knew it was because my family used whole ducted house heating and cooling.  I just wanted to fit in, but I knew I never would because of my familie’s high energy usage.  Even to this day, I have nightmares of comfortable heating and cooling while taking a long hot bath. 

Mom:  “That therapy list is really growing.”

Teen:  “Yep.”

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #10

Teen Talk: Episode #9

Teen Talk: Episode #8

Teen Talk: Episode #7

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

*Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #10

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Comic by K

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home, it’s gross. 

One day, Teen tried explaining to Mom about being a teenage boy in high school.

We now join the scheduled program already in progress…

Teen:  “I am not sure you can really understand, Mom, you don’t have testosterone!”

Mom:  “Lucky for you.”

Teen:  “…or testicles!”

Mom:  “Again, lucky for you.”

Teen:  “And so the conversation slowly spiraled into the awkward phase…”

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #9

Teen Talk: Episode #8

Teen Talk: Episode #7

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

*Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #9

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Forgetting Brain

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. That is, if you want to get anything done, ever.

One day, Teen had some chores.

Mom:  “Teen, don’t forget to do your chores today.”

Teen:  “Ok… (pause)…”And yet, I have already forgotten.”

Mom:  “What?!?!”

Teen:  “It’s too late, no one can stop me now.  Not even myself!

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #8

Teen Talk: Episode #7

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

*Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #8

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teentalk7

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. And keep your daughters far, far away.

One day, Teen contemplated dating etiquette.

Teen:  “Mom, do you think my girlfriend would break up with me if I said to her, Kiss my extra large buttocks?”

Mom:  “I would certainly hope so!”

Teen:  “Right.  If she wouldn’t, then I think I should probably break up with her.”

Mom:  “Good plan.”

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #7

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

*Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #7

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Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. Unless, you have a gas mask handy.

One day, Teen needed a shower.

Mom:  “Teen, could you take a shower before we go.”

Teen:  “Why?”

Mom:  “Um, lets see, long drive…small car…”

Teen: “Yeah, I get your point.”

Later that day, Teen was in the bathroom.

Mom:  Hey Teen, is that you in the bathroom?”

Teen:  “Yeah.”

Mom:  “I need to get something out of there.”

Teen: “Well, I really don’t recommend coming in here at this particular time.”

Teen draws a conclusion.

Teen: “I’m a growing boy, I smell in ways I never thought possible.”

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #6

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We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. Unless your Mom has a good sense of humor.

One day, Teen discovered the new chalkboard Mom had put up.

chalkboard3

The End.

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Resolutions for 2013 – Sweet Spot Style

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Yes, it is that time again – Resolution time.  Truthfully, I hold with the Non-Resolution style of ringing in the New Year.  That being said, there is always something of value to be learned from history – ones own adventures and, well, misadventures.

Thus this year, I decided to scour the Sweet Spot Archives of 2012 in search of some well earned Resolutions for 2013.
I think I found some pretty powerful nuggets of advice for the New Year…

1.  I will be sure to check my pants zipper (Life, the Ego-Sucking Siege) before entering any and all public establishments.

2. I will struggle on in my war against electronics (I Am Woman – Ode to Chris the Caveman) in the never ending battle for influence over my kids’ brain.

3.  I will try to have a kindler, gentler approach to my vacuum (The Day I Killed the Vacuum) and well, for that matter all machines in general (Woman vs. Machine).

4.  I will try to take Teens advice to drink water and recycle – preferably at the same time – (Teen Talk: Episode #3) and, of course, Pre-Teens advice to Never Sit on a Couch at a Nudest Colony.

5.  I swear never to utter the chant “Party at home plate” at my kids’ baseball games (Take Us To Warp Speed, Scotty), or do any of those other things that would qualify me for “bulldog” status as a  Sports Mom (Bulldogs Don’t Wear Lipstick).

6.  I promise, for Teen and Pre-Teen’s sake, to work in the words “Balls”  (Word-Up: We’ve Got Big Balls) and “Weenus” (Word-Up: Show Me Your Weenus) into every conversation where possible but not necessarily appropriate.

7.  In true Mid-West fashion, I promise to generously give the “no problem” wave, the “thanks for not honking at me even though I deserve it” wave, and possibly throw in the “I’m cool” head wave.  (You Deserve the Wave Today).

8.  I will seek out adventure every chance I get (Sweet Spot Travels), even the scary kind (Today’s Best Moment Thursday April 5.)

9.  I will try to make someones day as often as possible  simply by donning a pen and piece of rainbow stationary. (Go Ahead, Make My Day).

10.  I will be sure to have plenty of stockings/pantyhose and pet hair removal devices on hand for whatever occasion may arise. (Bag Lady Goes a Job Hunting).

11.  I will try to never, ever forget how good it feels to laugh (Destroy This Note After Reading).

And lastly, two lessons –  clearly resolution worthy – from some recent experiences:

I will try to not take as a personal commentary the worker-monogrammed cups received at Starbucks:

Starbucks cup

And, I will remember to pee prior to attending a D-Box movie.

Happy New Year from Looking for the Sweet Spot.

Go get ’em!

Teen Talk: Episode #5

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Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home.

One day, Teen was hungry.

Teen:  “Hey Mom, could you make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

Mom: “Sure, ok”

Teen:  “And Mom, could you cut the crust off?”

Mom:  “What?  Cut the crust off?  That is something you do for little kids!”

Teen:  “I know”

Mom:  “Even when you were a little kid, I never cut the crust off.  You never asked to have the crust cut off.”

Teen:  “True…I am  finally getting up the nerve to ask…”

The End.

Teen Talk: Episode #4

Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #4

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Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you a review by  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home.

One day, Teen returned home from an entertainment activity, shooting zombies with a paintball gun.

Mom:  “So, how was it? Was it fun? Did you have a good time?”

Teen:  “No! It was horrible, completely lame,  a real rip-off.”

Mom:  “Really?”

Teen:  “Yeah, it was a total waste of time and money!”

Mom:  “Well, would you go to it again if it cost less money, say like half the price or something?”

Teen:  No way!  I would never do to it again.  NOT EVEN IF THEY PAID ME!!!”

(pause)

Teen:  WAIT!  Actually, they could pay me to go…but, they would have to name their price.

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk: Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #3

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Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you a Public Service Message from Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited.  If you decide to try this at home, please proceed with extreme caution and stay out of your neighbors yard.

One day at the gas station mini-mart.

Teen: “Mom, I’m thirsty.  Can I get a soda?”

Mom:  “You don’t need soda, drink some water.”

Teen:  “I don’t like water, it tastes weird.”

Mom:  “You have to drink water.  Water is life!”

Teen:  “I do drink water.  I drank a ton of water yesterday.”

Mom:  “Oh, good.”

Teen:  “Then, I peed it all out onto a pine tree.”

Mom:  “What?”

Teen:  “I’m Green, I recycle.”

The End

Teen Talk:  Episode #1

Teen Talk: Episode #2

Teen Talk: Episode #4

Teen Talk: Episode #5

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk, Episode #2

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toothfairy

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another installment of Teen Talk.  Everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home.

One day, Teen lost a tooth.

Teen:  “Mom, should I put the tooth under my pillow or will the “Tooth Fairy” (finger quotes) just give me the dollar?”

Mom:  “What? No, put it under your pillow.  The Tooth Fairy only operates one way around here.”

The next day.

Teen:  “Mom!  The “Tooth Fairy” (again with the finger quotes) forgot me.  I was THOROUGHLY NEGLECTED!”

(Back story:  This is now the second time the Tooth Fairy has been caught sleeping – literally – on the job).

Mom:  “Man, that Tooth Fairy is the biggest slacker EVER!  I will have a serious talk with her.  Could you give her one more chance?”

Teen:  “Ok”

The next morning.

Mom: “Soooo, did the Tooth Fairy make good, come through, leave you a dollar?”

Teen:  “Yeah. (pause) But I expected interest.”

The end

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk, Episode #1

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stick figures

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you the first installment of Teen Talk.  Be assured, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited.  Please, do not try this at home.

One day at the Walgreens checkout…

Mom:  “Teen, could you please carry the bag?”

Teen:  (picks up bag) “Why do I have to carry the bag?”

Mom:  “Because, you are a guy, and guys carry things for girls.”

Teen:  “Oh.”

Mom: “Except a girl’s purse.  You don’t have to carry a girl’s purse.”

Teen:  “Right, there is no need for that kind of shame until you’re married!”

The end

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk