I knew it! I feared the day would come – the moment when I would finally be presented with undeniable proof I was failing as a parent. I wanted to deny it, but the evidence was right there staring me in the face. Clearly, I was raising a depraved sociopath.
You know the age old story, in the aftermath of a sociopath’s identification, when the neighbors wax poetic for the press? Statements of disbelief such as: “But, they were such a nice family”… “Never heard a peep out of them”…”mostly kept to themselves”…”They had a lot of garden gnomes.”
Right, well, I could just see the entire future unfolding. How had it come to this?
You see, last weekend as we drove endlessly in the car from one activity to another, the irrefutable proof of my impending catastrophe occurred. I don’t know, maybe my kids were bored. And what is it ‘they’ say? Boredom is the devil’s playground? Boredom is the Mother of Invention? Either way, from the depths of the backseat, my son called out,
“Mom, I scraped my weenus, could you put a band aide on it?”
What?!
Before I could even process his statement, the situation deteriorated further. Apparently, my parental fiasco was farther reaching than just one dissolute sociopath as both boys continued in a flourish of depravity.
“Mom, my weenus is exposed”.
“I need some sunscreen for my weenus”.
“Hey, get your weenus out of my face”.
“Look, my weenus is all wrinkled”.
“I am going to touch you with my weenus”.
“I have the weirdest weenus, want to see?”.
The situation seemed dire at best.
But then, just as I was getting ready to take preventative action (you can google for a psychotherapist, right?), I was saved. In the nick of time, I was informed by my little backseat degenerates their particular word “weenus” came with its own specific definition. However, just to be sure (and to have proof for possible future penal encounters – ha, get it?), I googled it myself- lo and behold:
According to Urban Dictionary: “Weenus is the flap of skin on your elbow”.
Sigh of relief. Apparently I am not raising a couple of depraved sociopaths, just a couple of depraved smart alecks.
But that I can live with, proudly.
For more word abuse, check out these earlier posts!
Looking for the Sweet Spot 
This shows one can really improve their vocabulary through Kids .. Hilarious post 🙂 So funny and adorable .. 🙂
Thank you! Yes, the improve me everyday!
Oh. My. Gosh. I laughed out loud. Hilarious!!!!!!!!
Yeah! Thank you for laughing. That is always my ultimate goal!
Okay, my comments starts with “Oh. My. Gosh.” as well! That was my sons — 20 years ago!! I’m still laughing so hard I’m crying! Thanks for that!!
You are welcome! Glad to know I am not alone!!
Smiling and chuckling. Used to call my sister that all the time! Great memories!
haha – I bet she loved that! I had older brothers too.
Hilarious! Love it!
Thank you!
LMAO – that pic – ha!!! At least you cannot say you do not have comic relief in your life! Have a Great Weekend:)
This is true! I have a tremendous amount of comic relief around my house – I couldn’t live without it!
Oh Paula – you took me back in time. We had similar conversations with M&J back in the day. Funny funny funny. Miss you!!
Glad you liked it! Miss you too!
Diabolical little guys–I love it!
Ha – diabolical – good word!
Please do not teach this to my children. I would have to stop the car and laugh for about ten minutes before I could safely drive again.
ha! Luckily my husband was driving at the time!
I’m still laughing at ‘Hey, get your weenus out of my face!’
Yep – that one really got my attention too – lol!
First of all, that picture is worth 1,000 words and made my morning in and of itself. Second, the words you added were great, even though I knew what a “weenus” was and have two garden gnomes in my back yard. 😉 Let the vocab adventures continue!
(And may I add, thank god for Urban Dictionary. I have no clue what people are talking about half the time.)
Yes! The urban dictionary was my savior in this case. Thanks for all your comments and for stopping by!
My boys will absolutely love this word! Hopefully it will replace noob (newb).
Ha! Not sure if that is good thing or not! But, they will definitely have fun with it!
This is exactly the sort of knowledge my kids use to torture me – shouting words in public that they know I can’t really outlaw because they’re harmless, but that they know full well with embarass the snot out of me. Very funny! 🙂
Yes, exactly! Gotta love em’!
My weenus hurts from typing so much today.
Thanks for the info. I’m definitely going to have to start using that one 🙂
Funny one!
I was reading this post so fast since I couldn’t wait to find out what weenus is! LOL. very funny. Kids.
I know – they are such great sources of comic material! Thanks for reading – even if it was quickly – ha!
I’m cracking UP!! Is “weenus” REALLY a word???? That is so crazy! I loved the part about the garden gnomes, BTW. (Thanks for linking this up over at #findingthefunny last week!)
I think ‘weenus’ is one of those new, official words. Either way, it has become a great source of amusement!
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