Monthly Archives: August 2013

3 Things I Don’t Have to Worry About Anymore

Standard
Hard ot not be attracted to that....not.

Hard to resist….not.

Its Friday – which is a great thing! But, there is something even better.  I suddenly realized this morning, as I head into my weekend, it is such a comfort to have the assurance of knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt,  there are three things I just don’t have to worry about anymore!

I no longer have to worry about…

1.  Contracting “Miley Cyrus Fever

I mean really, I was never a big fan to begin with.  However, the whole Gene Simmons/dog tongue thing and obsessive twerking pretty much put me into an assured state of immunity.

2.  Who is going to play the next Batman?

Man, was I ever worried about who was going to portray Batman in the next movie.  Now that all is revealed, I can breath easy and just worry about Ben Affleck’s ability to pull it off  (please note underlying blatant sarcasm).

3.  How long will it take my kids to begin leaving their dirty/scuzzy socks lying around after our heart to heart talk (aka chewing out) at the beginning of the week?

Mystery solved with the  scuzzy sock found this morning gracing the living room floor.

Have a great weekend!

I know I will.

Advertisements

Puerto Rico Island Travels Part 3: The Big Cajones Tour

Standard
Castillo de San Cristobal

Castillo de San Cristobal

“Balls” is a recurring theme on Sweet Spot – abused in Word-up: We’ve Got Big Balls, reminisced about in DodgeBall State of Mind and even my trip to New York last December could not escape some body parts humor.  And we are certainly not above bantering a Weenus around now and again.

You see, from my vast in-the-field experience (although, admittedly my focus group is limited to my boys and visiting more-than-happy-to-contribute friends) I have discovered that almost all humor can boil down to some sort of genital or body part innuendo – and the rest can finish with a potty joke  (don’t you wish you hung around my house during these learned occasions?).

I fear without the raucous humor, our life would hold few distinctions. Therefore, it was an especially good thing we decided to visit two forts in Old San Juan, on our trip to Puerto Rico– Castillo San Felipe del Morro and Castillo de San Cristobal – or we may very well have tragically missed the opportunity to include some phallic humor in our recent travels.

Visiting Castillo San Felipe del Morro and Castillo de San Cristobal, built by the Spanish as protection against foreign invasion in the 16th century and 18th century respectively,  we learned a few things (a very few, unfortunately) about life as a Spanish soldier serving at a fort in those long ago centuries.

The views were pretty fab.

Castillo San Felipe del Morro

View from Castillo San Felipe del Morro

Castillo de San Cristobal

Castillo de San Cristobal

San Felipe del Morro

San Felipe del Morro

Castillo de San Cristobal

Castillo de San Cristobal

The accommodations pretty much sucked.

Castillo de San Cristobal

Castillo de San Cristobal

And even better than having some really big guns to shoot,

Castillo San Felipe del Morro

Castillo San Felipe del Morro

Having really big balls, or shall we say…cajones.

Castillo San Felipe del Morro

Castillo San Felipe del Morro

And on that note, Puerto Rico Island Travels is now concluded.

Honestly, after that, what else could there possibly be?

Puerto Rico Island Travels Part 1: The Lost Tour

Puerto Rico Island Travels Part 2: The Clothing Optional Tour

For more Sweet Spot Travels: Go Here!

Teen Talk: Episode #9

Standard
Forgetting Brain

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. That is, if you want to get anything done, ever.

One day, Teen had some chores.

Mom:  “Teen, don’t forget to do your chores today.”

Teen:  “Ok… (pause)…”And yet, I have already forgotten.”

Mom:  “What?!?!”

Teen:  “It’s too late, no one can stop me now.  Not even myself!

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #8

Teen Talk: Episode #7

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

*Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Puerto Rico Island Travels Part 2: The Clothing Optional Tour

Standard

My Pre-Teen son lives by a code of ideas and directives (A Decade of Wisdom and here).  It is not a lengthy list, but nonetheless, it is definitive.  One of his most formidable edicts is Never Sit on the Couch at a Nudist Colony (think about it).  Which I suppose means if he ever has occasion to find himself at a nudist colony, he will have to spend his time there standing.  However, to my surprise, on our recent trip to Puerto Rico, this particular “code” was sorely tested.

One day, while on Palomino Island off the coast of Fajardo, Puerto Rico,  Pre-Teen and I decided to go hiking in the hills above the beaches.  We had been hiking trails for some time when we came upon a sign:

Puerto Rico, Hidden Beach Cove

That “Naturist” can sure make a mean sign!

Intrigued, Pre- Teen quickly headed off on the trail, which was all downhill.  I was less enthusiastic being that what goes down must come back up again.  But as I could see there was no stopping Pre-Teen, I was forced to follow him (or risk having to explain to my husband why Teen was going home an only child).

When we got to the bottom of the hill, right where the trail opened out onto a beach entrance we saw this:

Bilingual nudity.

and this:

Long live recycling.

But, we also saw this!

Yeah, resist that if you can…

Ok, possibly this would have been a good time to turn around, but I was hot, the water looked inviting and duh, we were just plain curious (and yes, I know how that all worked out for the cat).

We found ourselves completely alone on a beautiful, secluded and yes, nude beach.  We began to explore.

Me:  “Hey, Pre-Teen, go lay on one of the lounge chairs and let me take your picture.”

Pre-Teen:  “What?  No way!!”

Me:  “Why not?”

Pre-Teen:  “Mom!  You know – Never Sit on a Couch at a Nudist Colony!!!”

Me:  “Yeah, So?”

Pre-Teen:  “Well, the same goes for Never Lay on a Lounge Chair at a Nudist Beach!”

However, standing next to the lounge chair was apparently ok (for a short amount of time only and not too close):

Hurry up and take the picture already!

Hurry up and take the picture already!

As we explored the beach we came upon the yellow marker indicating the “best ocean access”.  Apparently if you are going to swim with your what-nots flapping in the wind, you have to look for the safest, least abrasive, place to do it.

Fancy, ain't it!

Fancy, ain’t it!

I realized at that moment, I had to swim at the nudist beach.  If I had a bucket list, surely that would be on it! However, not really trusting how my girly parts would behave in a free-to-be-you-and-me atmosphere, and seeing the look of horror on Pre-Teen’s face when I revealed my plans, I swam in my bathing suit.  As for Pre-Teen, well apparently Never Swim in the Water at a Nudist Beach was another addendum to his rule – he watched at a safe distance from the beach.

Upon exiting the water, we saw a (clothed) man striding towards us.  When he reached us, he introduced himself as “Brian”, explained he was the caretaker of Hidden Beach Cove, and welcomed us to stay as long as we liked.  As we were about to walk away, Brian added, while digging in his pants pocket,

“Hey, you want me to show you what is so special about this beach?”

Being this was a nude beach, Pre-Teen and I were both more than a little worried what exactly Brian was about to pull out of his pants pocket.  But thankfully when he whipped his hand back out, he was only holding these,

Much better than seeing Brian's tallywacker and nuggets in his hand.

Much better than seeing Brian’s tallywacker and nuggets in his hand.

A sea-glass “ring” and sea urchin skeleton.  Apparently, gems like these commonly wash up on this particular beach.

Brain then excused himself to retire to his “lean to”,

To disrobe?

To disrobe?

and emerged (phew) still clothed, although barely, I am pretty sure for our benefit.

We went back to exploring; now searching for treasures like the ones Brian had showed us (although dubious about the whole sea-glass ring thing, I decided not to question a man with no tan lines).  And Brian set to work grooming his beach.

Watch out for 'bend-overs'.

Watch out for ‘bend-overs’.

After a while, we decided best not to tempt fate, or rather naked sunbathers sure to arrive soon.  Upon our departure, knowing we had been unsuccessful in our search for treasures, Brian presented us with a sea-glass ring and sea urchin skeleton to take with us – which more than made up for the random flashes of his great white (well, tan actually) shark we had been treated to every time he bent down to pick up a rock or batch of seaweed.

We thanked him openly for his generosity and secretly for his attempted modesty.

As we headed back up the trail leaving Hidden Beach Cove, we looked back to see Brian still hard at work on his island paradise, just waiting for the moment he could at last rip off his encumbering piece of restrictive nylon. At least, thanks to Brian, we had a few pieces of paradise to take with us and Pre-teen and I can now say we “hung out” at a nude beach…

even if our ‘hoo haws’ did not…

 Palomino Island, Puerto Rico

Hidden Beach Cove, where not everything is hidden.

Puerto Rico Island Travels Part 1: The Lost Tour

Puerto Rico Island Travels Part 3: The Big Cajones Tour

For more Sweet Spot Travels: Go Here!

Puerto Rico Island Travels Part 1: The Lost Tour

Standard

Palomino IslandIt was probably just a coincidence that after spending half the summer on a speed marathon through the entire 6 seasons of LOST, we ended up choosing to vacation on an Island…or was it?

Teen, after breaking his arm and being banned for a good chunk of summer from all worthy pursuits, ie baseball and swimming, began watching the series, LOST. Soon, Pre-teen was completely hooked as well.  I, having already experienced the whole mind blowing journey (and by mind blowing I mean wishing my mind would blow up so I wouldn’t have to contemplate anymore unanswered questions) upon original airing decided “what the heck”, maybe the second time around it will actually make sense… and cool Mr. Echo will defeat the smoke monster and not ‘be voted off the island’ so soon – it didn’t and he didn’t.

Nonetheless, when vacation time came we found ourselves boarding a plane for the island of Puerto Rico, questioning the providence of our choice.  However, never ones to mess with destiny or the frustrated attendant taking our boarding passes, onto the plane we went.

We decided if fate should intervene,  I would be the Kate- type person because, duh, all the cute guys are willing to die for her,  she can kick butt and she never, ever has ‘bad Island hair’.  Teen wanted to be Sawyer because, yeah he had a tragic childhood, but doesn’t get maimed as much as the rest, has great comebacks and always gets the girl.  Pre-teen wanted to be Jin because he can beat up anyone when he needs to, is nice about it and is always there just when you need him.  We decided Hubs would have to be John Locke – someone has to keep the faith (I do believe in fairies, I do , I do) and get us back off the Island (although hopefully he would not have to die and then be possessed by a smoke monster in order to do it).  We all agreed, along the way we needed to find a Hurley for pure fun, and a Sayid for protection (because nobody messes with a former torturer if they know what is good for them)

As expected, we started out at the beach – you know, just in case we needed a quick helicopter rescue from a psycho marine, guy who talks to dead people or scientist who has done way too much experimenting on himself.

Isle Verde Beach, San Juan Puerto Rico

Isle Verde Beach, San Juan Puerto Rico

Isla Verde Beach, San Juan Puerto Rico

Isla Verde Beach, San Juan Puerto Rico

But eventually, as any stranded Islander, we felt the need to explore “the other island” – you just never know when you will be in need of a monkey cage, baby doctor, or well, baby daddy.  Upon approach it surely looked like a place to fall into the hatch (push the button, brother), or come across The Others and the eternally young and mysteriously guy-linered, Richard Alpert.

Off the coast of El Conquistador,  Fajardo, Puerto Rico

Approaching Palomino Island from El Conquistador, Fajardo, Puerto Rico

Nonetheless we disembarked from the boat (not Penny’s boat) and we were not sorry (just like Ben, although hopefully, we would not have to get pummeled on a daily basis for it).

Palomino - Is the island tilting, or is it my imagination?

Palomino – Is the island tilting, or is it my imagination?

Snorkeling in and around the rocks.

Snorkeling in and around the rocks.

Exploring the beaches

Exploring the beaches

And what is any three hour tour (oops, wrong ship wreck reference) without a hike into the jungle – because, of course, it is the only place to hear the whispers, see Walt appear out of nowhere – visibly aged by several years, and come upon random planes, trains and automobiles…or boats with explosives.

El Yunque Rainforest

El Yunque Rainforest

El Yunque Rainforest - swimming in La Mina Falls

El Yunque Rainforest – swimming in La Mina Falls

At the end of our week, we wandered if the Island would let us leave – we secretly hoped it wouldn’t. But in the end, it did (apparently, we were not on the list).  We only hope the Island will let us go back again, soon.  And then maybe, the next time, we will actually discover what lies in the shadow of the statue.

Coco Beach, Puerto Rico

Coco Beach, Puerto Rico

Puerto Rico Island Travels Part 2: The Clothing Optional Tour

Puerto Rico Island Travels Part 3: The Big Cajones Tour

For more Sweet Spot Travels: Go Here!