Tag Archives: teenagers

Teen Talk: Episode #16

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Ready for a snack?

Ready for a snack?

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. Unless you are Euell Gibbons.

One day, Teen confronted the Food Nazi (aka Mom).

Mom: “Did I tell you I am on the food committee for the post prom party?”

Teen:  “Seriously?”

Mom: “What?  I can make good snacks.”

Teen: “Sure”

Mom: “I can! I like sweets just as much as the next guy…”

Teen: “Whoa, Whoa, Whoa…let me stop you right there before you say something we’ll both be sorry for later.”

The End

For more Teen Views: Teen Talk

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Teen Talk: Episode #15

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Teen

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. Unless you are fond of servitude.

One day, Teen decided to establish his place in the Familial Hierarchy.

Mom:  “Teen, are you working this weekend?”

Teen: “Yes, all day Saturday. Do you know if my work clothes have gone through the laundry yet?”

Mom:  “I’m not sure, we should check when we get home tonight.”

Teen:  “Ok”

Mom:  “Send me a text message as a reminder.  Otherwise, I am afraid, by the time we get home later, we will forget to check.”

…ding…

Text from Teen:  Dear slave,

                               Make sure to wash and iron my good clothes for my upcoming business affairs.

                               Sincerely,

                               The Overlord

The End

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #14

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When Mom says “Go play outside!”…

Teen plays outside

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of Teen Talk. I assure you, everything you are about to hear see is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. Unless  you don’t mind turning your living room into outdoor furniture.

The end.

For more Teen Talk: Go Here

Teen Talk: Episode #11

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Comic by K

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at homeUnless you don’t mind freezing (or sweating) your da-dunt-da-dunts  off.

One day, Teen took a Home Energy Conservation Test at school.

Teen:  “Mom, we scored really bad on the Home Energy Conservation Test I took at school.”

Mom:  “Really? How bad?”

Teen:  “Well, lets just put it this way – it is just another one of those things I’ll be working out in therapy someday.”

Mom:  “What do you mean?”

Teen:  “You know, something like this…”

Therapist:

“So, Teen, tell me about your childhood and home life .”

Therapy Teen:

“Well, I remember how all the kids at school used to laugh and make fun of me because we turned off appliances in our house instead of unplugging them from the wall.”

Therapist:

“I see, go on…”

Therapy Teen:

“I was cut from the baseball team.  They never told me me why, but I knew it was because my family used whole ducted house heating and cooling.  I just wanted to fit in, but I knew I never would because of my familie’s high energy usage.  Even to this day, I have nightmares of comfortable heating and cooling while taking a long hot bath. 

Mom:  “That therapy list is really growing.”

Teen:  “Yep.”

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #10

Teen Talk: Episode #9

Teen Talk: Episode #8

Teen Talk: Episode #7

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

*Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #10

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Comic by K

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home, it’s gross. 

One day, Teen tried explaining to Mom about being a teenage boy in high school.

We now join the scheduled program already in progress…

Teen:  “I am not sure you can really understand, Mom, you don’t have testosterone!”

Mom:  “Lucky for you.”

Teen:  “…or testicles!”

Mom:  “Again, lucky for you.”

Teen:  “And so the conversation slowly spiraled into the awkward phase…”

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #9

Teen Talk: Episode #8

Teen Talk: Episode #7

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

*Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #9

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Forgetting Brain

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. That is, if you want to get anything done, ever.

One day, Teen had some chores.

Mom:  “Teen, don’t forget to do your chores today.”

Teen:  “Ok… (pause)…”And yet, I have already forgotten.”

Mom:  “What?!?!”

Teen:  “It’s too late, no one can stop me now.  Not even myself!

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #8

Teen Talk: Episode #7

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

*Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #8

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teentalk7

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. And keep your daughters far, far away.

One day, Teen contemplated dating etiquette.

Teen:  “Mom, do you think my girlfriend would break up with me if I said to her, Kiss my extra large buttocks?”

Mom:  “I would certainly hope so!”

Teen:  “Right.  If she wouldn’t, then I think I should probably break up with her.”

Mom:  “Good plan.”

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #7

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

*Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk: Episode #7

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teentalk5.1

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home. Unless, you have a gas mask handy.

One day, Teen needed a shower.

Mom:  “Teen, could you take a shower before we go.”

Teen:  “Why?”

Mom:  “Um, lets see, long drive…small car…”

Teen: “Yeah, I get your point.”

Later that day, Teen was in the bathroom.

Mom:  Hey Teen, is that you in the bathroom?”

Teen:  “Yeah.”

Mom:  “I need to get something out of there.”

Teen: “Well, I really don’t recommend coming in here at this particular time.”

Teen draws a conclusion.

Teen: “I’m a growing boy, I smell in ways I never thought possible.”

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Making Choices: Outlook Not So Good

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8ballTo Shave or Not to Shave?  This is a question, or rather choice of great import I recently faced – which started me thinking about the parenting nightmare it can be teaching our kids how to not only make choices but also, (dare to dream) make good choices.

Today, over at ParentSociety.com, I share three phases we (husband and I) have experienced in the quest to teach our kids how to make choices, which phase I am not sure I will live through, and the ultimate outcome of my own big decision!

Go here!

The 3 Phases to Teaching Your Kids to Make Choices

And if the proposed strategies all fail, no worries, there is always the 8 ball!

Ready, Set, Shop!

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Yesterday was epic.  Bigger than man walking on the moon, the first black president or even, yes,  the joining of chocolate and peanut butter.  Yesterday, my teenage son and I went shopping.  Mind you, not grocery shopping, or all-the-junk-I-don’t-need  Walmart shopping, but to the mall…clothes shopping…for him! Yeah, that just happened.

You see, both my boys hate to shop for clothes.  In fact, I would probably have better luck getting them to paint their nails pink and do a CanCan on the Vegas Strip.  (oh, that is unless there is a video game demo anywhere within a reachable radius).  This being the case, I normally opt for the, purchase what looks to be the right size-bring home for them to try on- return for size that fits, method (I know, I am more saintly than suspected!).

I made the mistake years ago telling my kids the story of how my older brothers would always steer Mom away from any and all clothing displays saying “don’t even look, Mom.”  Consequently, it has become routine whenever we ‘accidentally’ (hey, a girl can try) venture close to any women’s’ accoutrement each boy grabs me by an elbow and hustles me on like a criminal being escorted out of the store, repeating the mantra “don’t even look, Mom, just don’t even look.”

However, the current clothing situation for my growing teen had become dire.  It seemed like all of a sudden, virtually everything he turned up wearing looked like he had wrestled it from some poor, unsuspecting short person. I mean, boys don’t wear ‘daisy dukes’, right?  And with our current drought situation, those ‘floods’ were of no use to him whatsoever.  Therefore, one brave morning, I broached the subject with trepidation:

“I was thinking, maybe you and I should go shopping to get for you some clothes that actually fit?”

(Look of incredulity, like I just suggested we shave the cat or something)

“I promise I will make it quick”

(grunt)

“We will only go to a few places.”

(groan)

“I will only make you try on stuff when absolutely necessary.”

(eye roll)

“I will run you by the army surplus store when we are done?”

(ding ding ding, we had a winner!)

So yesterday, off we went.  I made good on all my promises and at the end of the day we arrived home with a bag full of clothes that actually fit him and, one army issue backpack & canteen.

For me, it was a great day.  I got to utter terms like “v-neck tee”, “contrast stitching” and “skinny or straight leg jean?” and experience on a small scale the Mom/kid shopping outings so long denied.

For him, well, he found a way to make it work.  I believe his exact words at the moment just prior to this photo being taken were

“Hey, like this, shopping isn’t so bad after all!”

Like I said, an epic day…

Teen Talk: Episode #3

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Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you a Public Service Message from Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited.  If you decide to try this at home, please proceed with extreme caution and stay out of your neighbors yard.

One day at the gas station mini-mart.

Teen: “Mom, I’m thirsty.  Can I get a soda?”

Mom:  “You don’t need soda, drink some water.”

Teen:  “I don’t like water, it tastes weird.”

Mom:  “You have to drink water.  Water is life!”

Teen:  “I do drink water.  I drank a ton of water yesterday.”

Mom:  “Oh, good.”

Teen:  “Then, I peed it all out onto a pine tree.”

Mom:  “What?”

Teen:  “I’m Green, I recycle.”

The End

Teen Talk:  Episode #1

Teen Talk: Episode #2

Teen Talk: Episode #4

Teen Talk: Episode #5

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Fear of Full Disclosure

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“How Much Should I Tell My Kids About My Wild Youth?”

My latest article on ParentSociety.com  is out.  Want a little sample?

I know the day is coming, soon.  I know as sure as Lindsay Lohan will end up in court again, the day is coming when my fear of full disclosure will be realized.  The day when I get asked personal questions by my curious teenage boys that I, on the one hand do not want to lie about, but at the same time do not want to fully disclose either.  And, in the interest of proper parenting – I mean, you have start some time, right –  I must know how to handle the moment and I need help!

Let me explain. Getting married and becoming a first time Mom in my 30’s meant two things…

All choices have consequences.  Go here to find out why my choices may mean looking as old (and just as hairy) as Dumbledore.

“How Much Should I Tell My Kids About My Wild Youth?