Tag Archives: teens

Teen Talk: Episode #12

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Comic by K

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another episode of  Teen Talk.  I assure you, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at homeUnless you are comfortable talking to yourself.

One day Teen turned into a brick wall got an iPhone.

Mom: “Looks like it is going to be warmer today!”

Teen:

Mom: “After school tomorrow, I will pick you up and then we will run by the store. If you need anything that would be a good time to get it.”

Teen: 

Mom:  “So, this weekend you have a game on Saturday and then we can go to the movies. Let’s see the new Captain America movie!”

Teen:

Mom:  “That story you told me last night was so funny, I am still laughing about it today!”

Teen: 

Mom:  “Next week, I am going out of town for a few days, so you and your brother will be on your own with Dad. ”

Teen:

Mom: “I am really glad we had this chance to talk!”

Teen:

The End

Teen Talk: Episode #11

Teen Talk: Episode #10

Teen Talk: Episode #9

Teen Talk: Episode #8

Teen Talk: Episode #7

Teen Talk: Episode #6

Teen Talk: Episode #5

Teen Talk: Episode #4

*Teen Talk: Episode #3

Teen Talk Episode #2

Teen Talk Episode #1

 

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

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Making Choices: Outlook Not So Good

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8ballTo Shave or Not to Shave?  This is a question, or rather choice of great import I recently faced – which started me thinking about the parenting nightmare it can be teaching our kids how to not only make choices but also, (dare to dream) make good choices.

Today, over at ParentSociety.com, I share three phases we (husband and I) have experienced in the quest to teach our kids how to make choices, which phase I am not sure I will live through, and the ultimate outcome of my own big decision!

Go here!

The 3 Phases to Teaching Your Kids to Make Choices

And if the proposed strategies all fail, no worries, there is always the 8 ball!

Word-Up: We’ve Got Big Balls

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Cat

As a Mom I am ready to embrace the teen years, more to the point, the boy-teen years.  Heck, I was born ready.  Well, not really.  Actually I was born pink & squishy…and bald.  Be that as it may,  growing up with three teenage brothers must have had some lasting effect – or damage.

So, here is what I have discovered recently.  Apparently, part of being baptized into male teen-dom involves the embracing and appreciation for all humor involving anatomical innuendo (honestly, for me this is not such a hardship).  At the current stage of development, we are heavily into Balls – sport balls, that is, and all implied.  Recently, I was schooled in the infinite innuendo possibilities for the word Balls.

I believe the introductory lesson went something like this:

Mom, you know, the word ball can be pretty funny.

Oh, really, how so?

Well, at baseball practice, say we are going out to warm up and one of the guys asks me “Do you have a ball?” and I will answer, “Yeah, I have two.”

And because the mind is a terrible thing to waste – well that and never being one to leave a good innuendo well enough alone -we brainstormed some more.

Try these on for size, no pun intended (ah, what the heck),  pun intended!.

Does anyone have a ballYeah, big ones

Does anyone have a ballWhat? You don’t?

Hey, grab a ball while you are over there. You’re sick!

Always keep your eye on the ball. aaawkwaaaabrd

Basketball players have big, orange balls.

Soccer players like to kick balls.

Football players have oddly shaped balls.

Baseball players have a lot of balls.

Golfers have little tiny balls.  (sorry golfers,  just  could not resist that one).

It is not a sport without any balls.

Can someone get me some balls, I don’t have any.

And lastly,

In sports, you have to get the balls a little sweaty.

Here I thought Poop would always be the funniest word in the English Language.  I guess I should have known the shift was coming, what with the whole Weenus debacle and all.

And, don’t even get us started on the word,  Nuts.

For more word abuse, check out these earlier posts!

Word-Up: Show Me Your Weenus

Word-Up:  Poop

Word-Up: Opus Anyone?

Word-Up: Get a Yob!

Boys Will Be Boys

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Boys will be boys, but how do we turn them into men?  This is a question that has been on my mind a lot lately because…

This year, for the first time, I have two boys attending Middle School. Let us just say that the start to our year has been a bit of a rocky road — like the kind you need a four wheeler for … or a tank. Don’t get me wrong, their grades are fine; good, even. They get their work done and they make an effort. The problem is they are on a quest to fulfill the saying “boys will be boys.”

That’s it.  That is all you get.  You will have to GO HERE to read the rest of the article The Secret to Raising Good Kids?  Teaching Respect  on ParentSociety.com. It will be worth it, I promise – you will laugh a little and maybe even cry a little (at my bad jokes, that is).

The Secret to Raising Good Kids?  Teaching Respect.

Ready, Set, Shop!

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Yesterday was epic.  Bigger than man walking on the moon, the first black president or even, yes,  the joining of chocolate and peanut butter.  Yesterday, my teenage son and I went shopping.  Mind you, not grocery shopping, or all-the-junk-I-don’t-need  Walmart shopping, but to the mall…clothes shopping…for him! Yeah, that just happened.

You see, both my boys hate to shop for clothes.  In fact, I would probably have better luck getting them to paint their nails pink and do a CanCan on the Vegas Strip.  (oh, that is unless there is a video game demo anywhere within a reachable radius).  This being the case, I normally opt for the, purchase what looks to be the right size-bring home for them to try on- return for size that fits, method (I know, I am more saintly than suspected!).

I made the mistake years ago telling my kids the story of how my older brothers would always steer Mom away from any and all clothing displays saying “don’t even look, Mom.”  Consequently, it has become routine whenever we ‘accidentally’ (hey, a girl can try) venture close to any women’s’ accoutrement each boy grabs me by an elbow and hustles me on like a criminal being escorted out of the store, repeating the mantra “don’t even look, Mom, just don’t even look.”

However, the current clothing situation for my growing teen had become dire.  It seemed like all of a sudden, virtually everything he turned up wearing looked like he had wrestled it from some poor, unsuspecting short person. I mean, boys don’t wear ‘daisy dukes’, right?  And with our current drought situation, those ‘floods’ were of no use to him whatsoever.  Therefore, one brave morning, I broached the subject with trepidation:

“I was thinking, maybe you and I should go shopping to get for you some clothes that actually fit?”

(Look of incredulity, like I just suggested we shave the cat or something)

“I promise I will make it quick”

(grunt)

“We will only go to a few places.”

(groan)

“I will only make you try on stuff when absolutely necessary.”

(eye roll)

“I will run you by the army surplus store when we are done?”

(ding ding ding, we had a winner!)

So yesterday, off we went.  I made good on all my promises and at the end of the day we arrived home with a bag full of clothes that actually fit him and, one army issue backpack & canteen.

For me, it was a great day.  I got to utter terms like “v-neck tee”, “contrast stitching” and “skinny or straight leg jean?” and experience on a small scale the Mom/kid shopping outings so long denied.

For him, well, he found a way to make it work.  I believe his exact words at the moment just prior to this photo being taken were

“Hey, like this, shopping isn’t so bad after all!”

Like I said, an epic day…

Teen Talk, Episode #2

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toothfairy

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you another installment of Teen Talk.  Everything you are about to hear is real and unedited. Please, do not try this at home.

One day, Teen lost a tooth.

Teen:  “Mom, should I put the tooth under my pillow or will the “Tooth Fairy” (finger quotes) just give me the dollar?”

Mom:  “What? No, put it under your pillow.  The Tooth Fairy only operates one way around here.”

The next day.

Teen:  “Mom!  The “Tooth Fairy” (again with the finger quotes) forgot me.  I was THOROUGHLY NEGLECTED!”

(Back story:  This is now the second time the Tooth Fairy has been caught sleeping – literally – on the job).

Mom:  “Man, that Tooth Fairy is the biggest slacker EVER!  I will have a serious talk with her.  Could you give her one more chance?”

Teen:  “Ok”

The next morning.

Mom: “Soooo, did the Tooth Fairy make good, come through, leave you a dollar?”

Teen:  “Yeah. (pause) But I expected interest.”

The end

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Teen Talk, Episode #1

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stick figures

Comic by K

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you the first installment of Teen Talk.  Be assured, everything you are about to hear is real and unedited.  Please, do not try this at home.

One day at the Walgreens checkout…

Mom:  “Teen, could you please carry the bag?”

Teen:  (picks up bag) “Why do I have to carry the bag?”

Mom:  “Because, you are a guy, and guys carry things for girls.”

Teen:  “Oh.”

Mom: “Except a girl’s purse.  You don’t have to carry a girl’s purse.”

Teen:  “Right, there is no need for that kind of shame until you’re married!”

The end

For more views by Teen Go Here: Teen Talk

Fear of Full Disclosure

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“How Much Should I Tell My Kids About My Wild Youth?”

My latest article on ParentSociety.com  is out.  Want a little sample?

I know the day is coming, soon.  I know as sure as Lindsay Lohan will end up in court again, the day is coming when my fear of full disclosure will be realized.  The day when I get asked personal questions by my curious teenage boys that I, on the one hand do not want to lie about, but at the same time do not want to fully disclose either.  And, in the interest of proper parenting – I mean, you have start some time, right –  I must know how to handle the moment and I need help!

Let me explain. Getting married and becoming a first time Mom in my 30’s meant two things…

All choices have consequences.  Go here to find out why my choices may mean looking as old (and just as hairy) as Dumbledore.

“How Much Should I Tell My Kids About My Wild Youth?