Word-Up: We’ve Got Big Balls

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As a Mom I am ready to embrace the teen years, more to the point, the boy-teen years.  Heck, I was born ready.  Well, not really.  Actually I was born pink & squishy…and bald.  Be that as it may,  growing up with three teenage brothers must have had some lasting effect – or damage.

So, here is what I have discovered recently.  Apparently, part of being baptized into male teen-dom involves the embracing and appreciation for all humor involving anatomical innuendo (honestly, for me this is not such a hardship).  At the current stage of development, we are heavily into Balls – sport balls, that is, and all implied.  Recently, I was schooled in the infinite innuendo possibilities for the word Balls.

I believe the introductory lesson went something like this:

Mom, you know, the word ball can be pretty funny.

Oh, really, how so?

Well, at baseball practice, say we are going out to warm up and one of the guys asks me “Do you have a ball?” and I will answer, “Yeah, I have two.”

And because the mind is a terrible thing to waste – well that and never being one to leave a good innuendo well enough alone -we brainstormed some more.

Try these on for size, no pun intended (ah, what the heck),  pun intended!.

Does anyone have a ballYeah, big ones

Does anyone have a ballWhat? You don’t?

Hey, grab a ball while you are over there. You’re sick!

Always keep your eye on the ball. aaawkwaaaabrd

Basketball players have big, orange balls.

Soccer players like to kick balls.

Football players have oddly shaped balls.

Baseball players have a lot of balls.

Golfers have little tiny balls.  (sorry golfers,  just  could not resist that one).

It is not a sport without any balls.

Can someone get me some balls, I don’t have any.

And lastly,

In sports, you have to get the balls a little sweaty.

Here I thought Poop would always be the funniest word in the English Language.  I guess I should have known the shift was coming, what with the whole Weenus debacle and all.

And, don’t even get us started on the word,  Nuts.

For more word abuse, check out these earlier posts!

Word-Up: Show Me Your Weenus

Word-Up:  Poop

Word-Up: Opus Anyone?

Word-Up: Get a Yob!

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23 responses

  1. You should show them the SNL “Schweddy Balls” skit if you really want them to admire you. That’s a keeper!

  2. This is my world….8th graders never miss a beat when it comes to the use of vocabulary such a “balls.” I also have a 6th grader, a 4th grader, and a boyfriend who find the word amusing. The best though? I was playing with my son one afternoon – with all sort of sporting equipment – we played with everything in our garage. And then he lists them all, “We played with a volleyball, baseball, football, basketball, bouncy ball, and tennis balls today. We never do that at my dad’s. He doesn’t have any balls.”

  3. I’m loving the list you two came up with. especially the poor golfers. 🙂 Honestly, I can’t hear the word balls without smiling inside. It really helps to have that kind of sense of humor when you are raising a houseful of boys. While driving home from vacation one year, we actually went 30 minutes out of our way to get a picture of the park named “Balls Falls”. Oh, the hilarity of balls!

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