May7

To Botox or Not to Botox

Posted on May 7, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

My most recent article “To Botox or Not to Botox” is up and running today on ParentSociety.com. Now hold on there, it may not be exactly what you think. But, I promise two things: you will get a laugh and find out one of my husbands deep, dark secrets. How can you resist?

It starts out like this:

For some time now, I’ve been wondering whether or not to get Botox. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it, too. No really, don’t tell me, because the truth is, we would all just about give our front teeth (that can then be replaced with perfect porcelain veneers of course) for a chance to forgo the wrinkling part of aging.

My first encounter with the idea of Botox was…

You will just have to Go Here to read the rest!

And don’t worry,

(No actual scientific knowledge was abused, or even, well, used, in the writing of this article).

May3

Sunshine Blogger Award

Posted on May 3, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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This week has truly been a Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride for me!

I woke up Wednesday morning at 7 am to a full-to-the-brim email file of comments, likes & follows and already over 1000 visits for the day to Looking for the Sweet Spot. Now, for some of you, this may be par for the course, but for this humble blogger, it was quite the event. I quickly came to discover that my post You Deserve The Wave Today had been chosen to be “Freshly Pressed” on WordPress.com and I was now enjoying the fruits of that honor. By days end, visits to my site had climbed to almost 6,000 visits from readers all over the world (continuing today!) and the amount of comments, likes, and reblogs were overwhelming in a Christmas comes everyday kind of way!

So, thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you who came, read, and gave some love to my Sweet Spot place. It has meant more to me than you can know.

But wait!! There’s more.

Because what did I wake up to today but a presentation of the Sunshine Blogger Award from my favorite Jman blogger and truly wonderful supporter – TheFadderly. If you haven’t visited his blog – well get on it! Not only is he hilariously funny & clever, he is also an amazing artist, contributing writer for ParentSociety.com and Dad to 4 kids (yeah, he will be applying for Sainthood shortly).

As I understand the rules, I am to answer the following 10 questions and then pass the torch by awarding the Sunshine Blogger Award to another blogger. Well, first things first…stuff about me!

1. Favorite Color: Blue! All things blue – blue sky, blue ocean, blue jeans, especially blue jeans!

2. Favorite Animal: Cats. I have to say this or else Lulubelle (my cat) will reek vengeance upon me. Anyway, at one time I was payed bucu bucks to pretend I was a CAT – so there!

3. Favorite Number: Number 2…no, Number 6…no, Number 26. Forget it, I never was very good with numbers!

4. Favorite Non-Alcoholic Drink: That’s easy – COFFEE! I once said in a blog I could live without a second cup of coffee. I now confess, lies…it was all lies!

5. Facebook or Twitter?: Well, Facebook is my comfort zone. On Twitter I have made many amazing friends, but I always feel like I’m in High school and can’t quite compete with the cool kids!

6. My Passion: Humor. I am passionate about finding humor in all things. Maybe, you have noticed?

7. Getting or Giving: I love to get the presents I give myself. Just kidding (sort of). Seriously, if money was no object, giving would become a truly intoxicating affair!

8. Favorite Pattern: The pattern the clouds make in the sky never fail to fascinate me – consequently, be warned, it can be hazardous to your survival to drive too close to me on the freeway. And, can I just add, I have a lifelong dislike for polka dots.

9. Favorite Day: My favorite day is any day I get to hop on a plane and go somewhere!

10. Favorite Flower: Listen, no flower or plant wants to be within a 12 mile radius of me as I kill all things green! So, can I just do like TheFadderly and tell you that my favorite album of all time – hands down – is Temple of the Dog.

Alright – now it is time to pass the torch!

I would like to present The Sunshine Blogger Award to Elisabeth Hirsch, ECStilson – The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom. Not only is she beautiful inside and out, she is also wildly funny, a talented musician and most of all, a truly gifted writer! She is just coming out with her third book, Bible Girl. She blogs about her books, her life and everything in between. If you haven’t discovered her yet, what are you waiting for!! Go now!

What in the wild world of sports will I wake up to tomorrow? Breakfast in bed? Laundry done, folded and put away?

Aaah, dare to dream!

May1

My Cat Orders Take Out Delivery

Posted on May 1, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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This is my cat, Lulubelle.

Sometimes, she looks like this:

But, most of the time she looks like this:

As you can see, Lulubelle has a very demanding sleep schedule to maintain. Therefore, how does she on a regular basis, find time to seemingly hunt & torment the birds in my yard? First of all, in doing so she completely flouts my verbal proclamation that all creatures and animals in my yard are under protected sanctuary (ok, except the blood sucking kind). But more importantly, how does she do it?

What really started my contemplation was my cat’s most recent suspicious acquisition.

You see, the other day I was diligently working while Lulubelle, per usual, slept nearby. All of a sudden, I heard a bird squawk so loud it sounded as if it was actually in the next room. The reason being, well, it was in the next room. I went to investigate and there stood Lulubelle (huh?) , looking pleased as Richard Simmons during a full body search, with feathers swirling around her head and a squawking bird in her mouth.

Upon seeing me, Lulu smugly let go of the terrified thing as if to say to me “Yeah lady, it’s a real bird. How do you like them apples?” (more flouting to be sure). The bird, of course, promptly flew against nearest window screeching something I swear sounded like “Help me; I’m being assaulted by a demon”.

For the next few moments, I felt like Chrissie in a Three’s Company episode (except, you know, without the cleavage and cute ponytails). Lulubelle cunningly attempted to regain her prize while I further traumatized the screaming bird by frantically chasing it around the room, knocking stuff over, throwing a nearby dirty boy sweatshirt over it, and bundling it up until I could reach the outside and secure its escape. As that bird flew like a bat out of hell away from stinky sweatshirt, bimbo Mom and maniacal (and now sleeping) cat, I just know it was promising never to set its little three toed feet in our yard of horrors ever again.

So I repeat. Where does my cat find time, not to mention energy? In my estimation this is very suspect and after much deliberation, I am leaning towards one particular theory –

She is ordering Take out delivery.

It would explain a vast amount of wild animal anomalies encountered at my house on a regular basis – as well as her ability to seemingly be in two places at once.

Honesty, I just hope the dog does not get wind of it…

Apr27

Have a Little Faith

Posted on April 27, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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“Why I Should Have Had More Faith in My Son” is my post today on ParentSociety.com.

When your son comes home with a bad Mid-Quarter Progress Report, how do you react? My thought processes go something like this:

In that moment, I could see my son’s whole future pass before my eyes: receives bad mid-term progress report grade– fails class – flunks out of school – starts to drink – begins dating biker chick with facial hair – turns to drugs – discovers online poker – resorts to begging for change outside a 7 Eleven.

But recently, I learned how to have a little more faith in my son, and myself. Go here to read the rest if you want to know how. It’s big, I tell you, HUGE. Well, not really, but it’s got a good beat, and you can dance to it.

Go read now! “Why I Should Have Had More Faith in My Son”

Apr26

Today’s Best Moment: Thursday, 4/26

Posted on April 26, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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What? Hold on, hold on – folding a mountain of laundry was NOT Today’s Best Moment because that would be well, sad and completely crazy.

No, the best moment was when I walked into the still-being-renovated-for-10-years laundry room, saw this toppling heap of laundry and literally laughed out loud. You know the kind of laughter when your nearby sleeping cat, upon hearing your outburst, looks up at you like you are a complete and utter moron? Yep, one of those.

Sometimes, those moments are what get me through the day. And, I think my cat lives for them, too.

Apr23

DodgeBall State of Mind

Posted on April 23, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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In my testosterone driven household, sports are played & watched, hygiene is an afterthought, all bodily functions are hysterical, weapons are coveted, shadow punching serves as a greeting, and,

Movie one liners are viewed as the cures to all that ails you.

Seriously, gone are the days when I could just watch a movie and forget about it. Now, due to the uncanny ability of my boys to remember every funny line in a movie, I now relive movies in a whole new way. You see, not only do they recall every bit of humorous dialog, but they then proceed to plagiarize them incessantly – weaving them into our daily conversations in the name of comic relief. Apparently, my house is in need of a tremendous amount of relief.

Over the years, favorites have developed. For an excuse in a multitude of situations, nothing works better than “I would do that (dive off a waterfall) if I didn’t have diarrhea” from Club Paradise.

And, to deflect from an embarrassing situation, “I find everyone’s pain funny but my own…I’m French” from Flushed Away is always the perfect.

And, even though it is actually from a play, the line “If we can’t kill it, it’s immortal” from A Tuna Christmas, well, is just plain funny.

Recently, however, our world has become ensconced in the prolific one liners from the movie DodgeBall (with Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller). If you have never seen it let me assure you, it is jammed packed with all kinds of adolescent boy humor goodness. It seems no matter what the life situation, a DodgeBall snippet of dialog is just the ticket to smoothing things over and offering meaningful advice. You doubt me?

Allow me to demonstrate:

For confronting challenges:

“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball”

For conveying revenge:

“Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!”

For expressing disgust:

“I just threw up in my mouth a little bit”

For bolstering confidence:

“My gym has shareholders, your gym doesn’t even have cup holders!”

And to take confidence to the next level:

“Here at Global Gym we’re better than you and we know it”

For snappy comebacks:

Statement: “I’m off the clock”

Response: “How convenient for you…and the clock!”

…and the best in my humble opinion,

For facing difficulties:

“Necessary! Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No! But, it’s sterile and I like the taste.”

Honestly, I don’t recommend it for the faint of heart…or easily offended. But, for those wanting to indulge your adolescent side, laugh hysterically and gain a world of “good advice” in the process – well, DodgeBall might be right up your alley.

As for me, what can I say, I am a joiner and can never resist a good laugh. And, in my male dominated home, I have learned to never underestimate the power of a good one-liner!

In closing, I leave you a final DodgeBall one liner word of advice…

If you master the 5 D’s of Dodgeball, no amount of ‘balls’ can hit you – Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive and Dodge.

Apr19

Is There Life After 40?

Posted on April 19, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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Well, duh, I’m not dead yet. However, the term “It’s now or never” sure takes on a whole new meaning. What do I mean? Well, head on over to ParentSociety.com and read my latest article, Is There Life After 40?, to get ‘the rest of the story’.

As a kid, I was once asked what age I considered old. I promptly replied, “40.” In my teenaged, eye-rolling mind, there was clearly no life after 40. I’ll just bet the adult who asked the question wanted to drop kick me into the next week…

You might just find out what Patrick Dempsey, hair dye and mini-vans have to do with turning 40. Now how can you pass that up? Go here!

Is There Life After 40?

Apr16

10 Things I Just Don’t Understand

Posted on April 16, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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I apologize in advance. Seriously, this was not the post I set out to write. Really, I just had to get these things out of my head before I could put anything decent on paper. So, why share it? Ah well, I guess I am just fearless in that way.

10 things I just don’t understand:

1. Cheese in a can

What? Was someone afraid whipped cream was having all the fun?

2. Donald Trump’s hair

I mean really, how much money bank loans does it take to hire a decent hair stylist?

3. Crocs

Hey, what’s not to get, right…they are plastic, turned up at the tip like elf shoes and make your feet look so very sexy!

4. Hairless Cats

They just look so cold…and shriveled.

5. Parachute Pants

‘Cause, yeah, I want my thighs to look like watermelons- oh and while you are at it, clad them in vibrant prints and colors, too!!

6. Canned Asparagus

It should be illegal to torture a vegetable so.

7. Bird Spiders

No spider should be so large it requires birds for sustenance.

8. Cockroaches with wings

Some creatures have no business leaving the ground.

9. Snooki on the Mom track

Duh, now everyone is going to want their own little ‘short n tan’.

10. Cloth Diapers

I know, all you green parents will stomp me for this – but seriously, don’t we suffer enough as parents without having to launder poop and pee, too?

Ok. Now that I have that off my chest, back to work. Thanks for listening…

Apr11

Las Vegas Much?

Posted on April 11, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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If you are planning to take your kids to Las Vegas anytime in the near future or you think I am off my rocker for even contemplating it, you might want to check out the Top 5 kid friendly and budget savvy tips we discovered on our recent trip to the flashy city over on ParentSociety.com today.

It starts like this:

When you think of Las Vegas, you probably don’t think of the words “kid-friendly” or “budget-savvy.” Well, it is a fact that almost everything costs a ton in Las Vegas, except the parking, which is always free. (How can you proceed to lose all your money in the casino if you can’t park your car?).

It is also true that on occasion you must instruct your kids to “quick, look up at the big tall building!”…

You will have to go here to find out why they have to look up (really, you need to know!) and get the Top 5 Budget Kids’ Activities to Do in Las Vegas.

For more Sweet Spot Travels: Go Here!

Apr9

Today’s Best Moment: Sunday, 4/8

Posted on April 9, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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Las Vegas at night.

I won a few dollars (no really, I mean actually $2.00). Then, I lost the $2.00. So, I went to watch the Bellagio Fountains – which are free, and still by far my favorite thing on the Vegas Strip. Yes, even better than the Jack Sparrow impersonator. It was a good night.

For more Sweet Spot Travels: Go Here!

Apr7

Just a Bit of Fun

Posted on April 7, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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This just in! You really can be in two places at once!!

One foot in Arizona and one foot in Nevada. Hoover Dam.

And in other news…Alien Spaceship spotted in Arizona.

Apr5

Today’s Best Moment: Thursday, April 5

Posted on April 5, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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Photo by: Paula Danner

Devil’s Bridge – Sedona, Arizona

We had to hike to get there. I didn’t even panic when they walked across. Ok, that is a lie. I did panic, a little. But man, it was cool.

The truth is, the best moment may very well have been afterwards, playing football with them in the hotel pool. That was cool, too.

For more on this adventure, finding the bridge and living to tell about it – Go Here!

For more Sweet Spot Travels: Go Here!

Apr3

After Years of Searching for Justice

Posted on April 3, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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On ParentSociety.com, I have an article running today. It is not my usual ” humor infused” (attempts at humor anyway) type of Sweet Spot story. However, I wanted to share it here nonetheless. It starts out like this:

Yesterday, I read the news, much like I always do in the morning before sending my kids off to school. I enjoy reading up on a variety of subjects: health, stupid Hollywood pet tricks (a.k.a. celebrity news), consumer reports, world news, etc. Most of the time, once my kids are off to school, I begin my work and go on with my day. Sometimes, I even relay interesting information to my husband. But yesterday, I read an article that haunted me throughout my day and into the next.

Go here to find out why we should all pay attention to Fakhra Younus’s story.

Some stories must be remembered. Thank you for reading.

Apr2

10 Reasons I Forgot Your Birthday

Posted on April 2, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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Today is my husbands birthday. Last year, I (and my kids) completely forgot his birthday. That’s right, no gift, no cruddy store bought card, no drawn picture, no recognition whatsoever – not even a gag gift. Honestly, he wasn’t even that up-in-arms about it…which, of course, made us feel even more guilty. He loves to laugh. Therefore, we decided salvation from our faux pas was through humor.

We made him a list. A very special list. A list explaining how we, in our individual ways, had very logical ~~reasons~~ excuses as to why his birthday had been forgotten.

Top 10 Reasons I/We Forgot Your Birthday

10. I was abducted by aliens and they mind wiped one day from my memory… so, I will remember tomorrow.

9. I have selective amnesia: also known as Spoucitus or Parentaphobia.

8. It’s not my fault; I got my brain from you!

7. What!!! I was doing you a favor by forgetting.

6. Mama needed a new pair of shoes…dress…shirt… well, you get the idea.

5. The devil made me do it.

4. My underwear was too tight.

3. Pick up shirts from the dry cleaners… (oops, wrong list).

2. I was busy documenting a Big Foot sighting (which, unfortunately, turned out to be just a really hairy guy from down the street).

And the number one reason your birthday was forgotten…

1. I would have remembered if I didn’t have diarrhea.

This year for my husbands birthday, we bought him a tie. Actually, this year for his birthday we are taking him on a trip – which will be memorable and fun. However, I have a feeling he may stand by his sentiment expressed after reading our pitiful excuses for forgetting last years birthday.

“That was the best birthday present you could have given me”.

Sometimes, it is just that simple.

Mar29

Top 5 Mysteries of Parenting

Posted on March 29, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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The fun continues on ParentSociety.com where my latest article “Top 5 Mysteries of Parenting” went live today. It starts out like this:

Mysteries are a part of life. True mysterious occurrences are, all at once, puzzling, unexplainable, and strange. As a young person I obsessed over anomalies such as: Did it really say “Paul is dead” when a Beatles song was played backwards? And would the bad guys on Scooby Doo really have gotten away with it “if it wasn’t for those meddling kids?” As I matured, I moved on to more perplexing mysteries such as: How did they get those massive statues on Easter Island up and standing in a row? Is Jim Morrison really alive and well roaming the streets of Paris, incognito, looking like Grizzly Adams? And, Donald Trump’s hair (need I say more)?

But then, I discovered the mysteries of parenting…

Go here find out the Top 5 Mysteries of Parenting that baffle me most. Hint – it has something to do with Teeth, Knives and the Uterine Homing Device…

Mar26

Today’s Best Moment: Monday, March 26

Posted on March 26, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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I took my kids to see The Hunger Games.

But oh, we didn’t just see the movie. We discussed casting, disagreed on plot changes, analyzed adjusted content, evaluated screenplay adaptation, laughed at The Hunger Pains parody, fought over necessity of added scenes, pondered future installments, reviewed overall success, and considered Lenny’s gold eyeliner.

The movie was good. The after part was the best.

Mar22

Fear of Full Disclosure

Posted on March 22, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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“How Much Should I Tell My Kids About My Wild Youth?”

My latest article on ParentSociety.com is out. Want a little sample?

I know the day is coming, soon. I know as sure as Lindsay Lohan will end up in court again, the day is coming when my fear of full disclosure will be realized. The day when I get asked personal questions by my curious teenage boys that I, on the one hand do not want to lie about, but at the same time do not want to fully disclose either. And, in the interest of proper parenting – I mean, you have start some time, right – I must know how to handle the moment and I need help!

Let me explain. Getting married and becoming a first time Mom in my 30’s meant two things…

All choices have consequences. Go here to find out why my choices may mean looking as old (and just as hairy) as Dumbledore.

“How Much Should I Tell My Kids About My Wild Youth?“

Mar19

You Deserve The Wave Today

Posted on March 19, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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I like The Wave. I want The Wave. I want to kick the person’s butt who denies me The Wave. Do you know of what I speak? I am not talking about that thing in the sports stadiums that makes you get off your behind, flail your arms like a Muppet on crack, and spill stuff. I am talking about that little acknowledgement you get from a fellow driver on the road. The simple hand gesture that can say “please”, “thank you” or just “I acknowledge you exist”. The Wave.

Never gave it much thought? Well, neither did I. That is, until The Wave was gone. (Feel free to hum a few bars of “Don’t know what ya got, ‘til its gone”, I did)…

Even during my 10 years in LA, where driving is sometimes like something out of a Mad Max movie (only without Tina Turner riding shotgun), you can still get The Wave – and I don’t mean the one where the middle finger is prominent (although, that one is generously given as well). I am talking about a true and significant appreciation Wave, enough, at least, to feel satisfied.

But then, I moved to New Orleans. Now (disclaimer coming), New Orleans is a great city, with many wonderful attributes and people – boy, do they know how to throw a party. However, when it comes to The Wave, they are a big, fat void. In my 5 years living there, no matter how hard I tried, begged, frantically waved, offered beads and occasionally even a boob flash (ok, not that one) I could never illicit a return or acknowledgement Wave in any way, shape or form. And, I missed The Wave, desperately.

However, our next big move was to the Mid-West. And, much to my pleasant surprise, Mid-Westians (Mid-Westers?) really know how to work The Wave. You know how the Eskimos have 100+ words to express “snow” related things? Well, that is how prolific Mid-Westians are with The Wave. I kid you not (‘cause that would be so unlike me). Here are just a few that come to mind:

The “Thank You” Wave.

The “No problem” Wave.

The “Go ahead, I’m in no hurry” Wave.

The “Sorry I did not see you there” Wave.

The “That’s Ok” Wave

The “Thanks for not honking at me even though I deserve it” Wave.

The “Sorry to make you wait while I cleaned up the juice my kid just spilled” Wave. (followed by…)

The “I can see that you are stressed and I won’t make it worse by honking at you” Wave.

The “We are just two cars passing on a country road” Wave.

The “I’m cool” Head-Wave.

The “I’m even cooler” Chin-Lift Wave.

The “I don’t want to take my hands off the wheel but want to greet you” Finger-Lift Wave.

The “You are welcome to pass my slow farm vehicle” Wave.

The “I’m sorry I was just a dork for cutting you off/getting in your way” Wave.

I possibly overuse this wave and therefore often receive back…

The “Never mind, it is ok that you are a dork” Wave.

The “Hello fellow truck owner” Wave (hubbys favorite)

The “I won’t smile at you but will still acknowledge you exist” Wave (my visiting Mom’s Fave).

And the truly unique, from my elderly pedestrian neighbor…

The “I am too involved in what I am doing to look up at you but here is my hand” Wave.

To which I always respond with…

The “I know you can’t see it but I will reciprocate anyway” Wave.

I love them all. Who knew such a small thing could speak volumes when silenced. There are many things in life I can definitely live without – coffee a 2nd cup of coffee, an ab six-pack, shoulder pads, another social network, Journey to the Center of the Earth Part 3.

But The Wave? No, I know now, I need The Wave.

In fact, I deserve The Wave.

And so do you.

So, if you are ever out Mid-West way, look for me. I’ll be the one giving you

The “Nice to see you ‘round these parts” Wave.

Mar15

For Those About to Rock, or Turn 40 Someday

Posted on March 15, 2012 by LookingfortheSweetSpot

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My first article The Real Reason I Wear Sunscreen (Hint: It’s not for my health) is up and running on ParentSociety.com! Curious? It starts like this:

A few years ago (if more than ½ dozen can still be considered a few), I turned 40.

You know those major transitions in life that breeze right by – go down like milk and honey? Right, well, this was not one of those moments. For me, turning 40 was much more like swallowing a jagged little pill…and Alanis Morissette…and her entire band…all at the same time.

As I recall, which being over 40 and a Mom pretty much gives me carte blanche to never remember anything ever again, my actual birthday was pretty good….

Go here to read the rest. Really, you don’t want to miss this one. That is, if you want to know what Peeping Toms and sunscreen have in common.

The Real Reason I Wear Sunscreen.