Today is my husbands birthday. Last year, I (and my kids) completely forgot his birthday. That’s right, no gift, no cruddy store bought card, no drawn picture, no recognition whatsoever – not even a gag gift. Honestly, he wasn’t even that up-in-arms about it…which, of course, made us feel even more guilty. He loves to laugh. Therefore, we decided salvation from our faux pas was through humor.
We made him a list. A very special list. A list explaining how we, in our individual ways, had very logical
reasons excuses as to why his birthday had been forgotten.
Top 10 Reasons I/We Forgot Your Birthday
10. I was abducted by aliens and they mind wiped one day from my memory… so, I will remember tomorrow.
9. I have selective amnesia: also known as Spoucitus or Parentaphobia.
8. It’s not my fault; I got my brain from you!
7. What!!! I was doing you a favor by forgetting.
6. Mama needed a new pair of shoes…dress…shirt… well, you get the idea.
5. The devil made me do it.
4. My underwear was too tight.
3. Pick up shirts from the dry cleaners… (oops, wrong list).
2. I was busy documenting a Big Foot sighting (which, unfortunately, turned out to be just a really hairy guy from down the street).
And the number one reason your birthday was forgotten…
1. I would have remembered if I didn’t have diarrhea.
This year for my husbands birthday, we bought him a tie. Actually, this year for his birthday we are taking him on a trip – which will be memorable and fun. However, I have a feeling he may stand by his sentiment expressed after reading our pitiful excuses for forgetting last years birthday.
“That was the best birthday present you could have given me”.
Sometimes, it is just that simple.