I apologize in advance. Seriously, this was not the post I set out to write. Really, I just had to get these things out of my head before I could put anything decent on paper. So, why share it? Ah well, I guess I am just fearless in that way.
10 things I just don’t understand:
1. Cheese in a can
What? Was someone afraid whipped cream was having all the fun?
2. Donald Trump’s hair
I mean really, how much money bank loans does it take to hire a decent hair stylist?
Hey, what’s not to get, right…they are plastic, turned up at the tip like elf shoes and make your feet look so very sexy!
4. Hairless Cats
They just look so cold…and shriveled.
5. Parachute Pants
‘Cause, yeah, I want my thighs to look like watermelons- oh and while you are at it, clad them in vibrant prints and colors, too!!
6. Canned Asparagus
It should be illegal to torture a vegetable so.
7. Bird Spiders
No spider should be so large it requires birds for sustenance.
8. Cockroaches with wings
Some creatures have no business leaving the ground.
9. Snooki on the Mom track
Duh, now everyone is going to want their own little ‘short n tan’.
10. Cloth Diapers
I know, all you green parents will stomp me for this – but seriously, don’t we suffer enough as parents without having to launder poop and pee, too?
Ok. Now that I have that off my chest, back to work. Thanks for listening…