Two years ago my son was granted permission to buy a dart board because, well, truthfully the reason completely alludes me now (more proof of too many brain cells destroyed prior to or as a result of motherhood).
No sooner had the dart board been placed on the wall when an argument commenced between my two boys bringing to mind a long ago fight between my then teen brothers involving the last frozen pizza and proof that a pizza cutter can stick in a wall when thrown with conviction. But I digress. Back to my boys, I arrived on the scene to find them with smoke coming out of their ears (descriptively speaking, of course), darts clenched in hands and a shattered window with a suspiciously small hole the size of um, a dart.
Well, turning darts into weapons of mass destruction definitely called for an all-out ban on all dart board usage for an indeterminate amount of time.
However, finally the amount of time (2 years as it turned out) was determined when I arrived home to find the dart board placed on the wall (far from any windows this time) and darts actually being thrown at the dart board and not each other (shocking!).
Which brings me (finally, I know) to the point of my story. You see, my boys and I commenced in a rousing game of round robin darts. It very quickly came to my attention that our border collie had chosen a particular spot from which to observe the action. No matter how hard we tried to get her to move, she would not be budged.
Why is this a problem, you ask? I can offer not 1, not 2, but 6 excellent reasons my dog should reconsider:
As you see, our proficiency in darts is, in a word, lacking. So either our dog is devoid of all common sense and intelligence or is truly Man’s Best Friend with an unflagging amount of faith in us. Honestly, I am torn. My dog is an excellent watch dog and can take down a UPS man with the best of them, but she also eats cat poop.
In closing, allow me to add that our cat chose a spot just around the corner where she was positively safe from stray dart harm but still had an eagle eye view of dog…just in case?
Maybe, just maybe, the whole Man’s Best Friend gig just isn’t what it’s cracked up to be…but don’t tell my dog.